


Tequila Candies

by Adamnedusername



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: A fae might, A normal human might not be able to get drunk after eating 20 tequila candies, Alcohol, Artistic License-Biology, FaeVex, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamnedusername/pseuds/Adamnedusername
Summary: Cub and Scar, in a moment of pure hubris, eat 20 tequila candies.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Tequila Candies

**Author's Note:**

> This was written purely because I wanted to.
> 
> I'm also going to direct you to the Hermitcraft Headcanon Blog cause it's fun to submit headcanons and interact with the people running it.
> 
> https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/637765831732903936/this-submission-got-close-to-character-limit-after

Buying candy. When you’re buying it for yourself it’s a reasonably enjoyable experience, but when you have to buy enough for a 24 person party, it can be a bit of a nightmare. Fortunately for Cleo and Doc they remember Mumbo went on the Candy Warehouse site and bought an insane amount of Curly Whirlies a month ago, and honestly that place sounded like the best place to get an insane amount of candy right now. Doc punched in the address before browsing the site to see the selection and explore the layout. The two 40-year-olds were having a bit of fun looking at it all before they realized they were actually supposed to be buying stuff.

Between Doc’s go big or go home attitude and Cleo’s refusal to be the impulse control in this situation, the duo bought two 260 tubs of mini candy canes, two 12 boxes of regular-sized candy canes, two 36 ounce Reese's minis bags, a 38-ounce bag of regular MnMs, a 38-ounce bag of peanut MnMs, two 275 piece bags of flavored Tootsie Rolls, a gallon bag of rainbow candy-coated popcorn, one 5.29 ounce bag of Mulled Wine Hard Candies, a 60 piece box of Curly Whirlies, and as a treat for themselves they got two tubes of tequila filled liquor candies.

They went to check out and found out the candy hoard will arrive on the 21st. Perfect. However, neither of them were going to be there on the 21st for half the day. Delivery people have a weird habit of showing up at weird times to deliver things, and the Hermits usually have no idea what time a package is going to show up. Another issue is the Convex, who might steal the candy just to dick with them, or worse, eat half the candy in one sitting.

Cleo sighed. “I’m just gonna send a message in the discord.”

Cleo: @everyone The candy for the holiday party will arrive on the 21st of this month. Doc and I won’t be in for half the day. Can someone keep an eye out for it?

Before she got confirmation, she remembered and added this line.

Cleo: Also, @GoodTimesWithScar, @Cubfan135, don’t you dare mess with this candy, or I’ll break your wings.

Doc: I don’t think I’ll be able to save you two if she does.

After also having to threaten Grian and Joe with the same treatment and hearing their other friends say they’ll be good friends and keep an eye out for the packages.

On the 21st when the packages came in while Doc and Cleo were out as they guessed, and Cub and Scar got to the packages and made off with the packages, and opened them in one of the buildings in Scar’s magical village. The thing that enticed them the most, was the tequila candies.

The packaging itself was pretty tempting. The tube that held the candy started off as a cream yellow and faded to a dark orangish-red kind of like a sunset. Opening the tubes, they saw the candies were wrapped in a golden foil. If that wasn’t enough small scale decadence to tempt the Vex, the calligraphy style writing on both layers of packaging added to it. The alcohol content added a level of hubris to this whole situation, and they were both aware of this and dove in.

“Bet you I can finish my tube before you can,” Cub said.

“You’re on.” Scar replied before they both just started gobbling up the liquor candies.

They finished at their tubes at the same time, and they both sat on the ground giggling with pride.

When Doc and Cleo found them, they saw the Vex sitting on the floor giggling cause they were somehow drunk off their asses after eating liquor candies.

The two fae swayed on the floor giggling. It took Cub a while to notice the two sober people standing behind Scar, and the sober Hermits weren't sure whether it was because he was confused either his brain or his eyes were foggy, but when he finally realized who was behind him he raised his arms and excitedly cried out “Doc! Cleo!”

This alerted Scar to their presence, and he turned around, throwing himself off balance and prompted Doc to catch and rebalance Scar.

Cleo was kinda confused about what to do, and in her own stupor choked out “Grab onto something stable.”

Cub and Scar chose to grab onto each other. “Our friendship is stable.” Scar said.

“Okay, that’s on me. I should have outlawed metaphysical concepts before saying that.” Cleo said before turning to Scar. “Is there a couch or bed nearby?”

Scar shakkaly pointed at the large 3 person couch at the end of the room. Doc and Cleo picked up Cub and Scar on the couch. However, before they could take a few steps, Cub turned to Cleo and Doc and asked “Guys, can we get a hug?”

Scar nodded his head, almost falling over.

And as if there wasn’t enough hubris in this story, Doc joined them on the couch and placed his arms around the Vex. The Vex in turn wrapped their arms around his waist...and didn’t let go for 20 minutes. Then he realized what happened. “Fuck! Cleo I got trapped by some drunk fae rules.”

Cleo sighed. “Don’t worry Doc. I’ll put the candy away and pick up some stuff for them,” she said before walking out.

If this is what drunk Vexes are like, she couldn't even begin to imagine what a hangover looks like.


End file.
